If it takes four months to prepare for vacation, then it should naturally take some length of time to get back into the swing of things, right? I’m getting there…it’s just hard to catch up with so many important things on my list I need to accomplish:
– Haul all of the fall and Christmas decorations out of the garage.
– Sort the decorations.
– Admire the decorations.
– Tell the decorations how much I’ve missed them.
– Sit around and smell my Fall Harvest, Cozy Fireside and Balsam Pine Scentsy bars, to prepare myself for the seasons.
Look, it’s a zen process, full of meditation and sitting around in PJs wishing the weather would turn cooler.
So, Round-Up time…yes, Halloween was a million years ago, but I had some thoughts that I wrote down and I’m sharing them now…
Teenage girls and mothers of teenage girls…seriously, what’s up with the costumes? Why do you look like you’re auditioning for the Bunny Ranch? WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING? I would like a nationwide spandex/lycra ban next year. Also, no more animal ears and tails.
Greedy kids…one visit to a house/trunk-or-treat/other Halloween event is adequate. There’s no need to show up four times, demanding more candy. I’m totally ratting you out to your dentist.
Florida…can we get some cooler weather for Halloween? It’s unfair that I find the most adorable costume ever in the history of time and space, and Miles can only wear it for 20 minutes because it happens to be fleece but it also happens to be 178 degrees outside at 8:00pm. Get with the program.
Neighbors…when we arrived home from Trunk-Or-Treat, you were throwing boomerangs in the park across the street. You are not Aussies, but I respect your hobby. I am unsure as to why (and a little unnerved) you felt the need to throw boomerangs until ELEVEN THIRTY PM. I half expected Halloween night to turn into some B horror movie: “Boomerangicide: THEY ALWAYS RETURN.”
Costumes…other than the costumes for Miles and Evan (I win 1,000,000 points for those) my favorite costume this year belonged to a dad of one of the kids trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. He was wearing a “bloody” t-shirt with knife slashes and mini cereal boxes attached all over. I interpreted this costume as “Killer Cereal”, since to be a cereal killer, it seems like he’d be the knife wielder, right? So if his intention was ironic, he gets 10,000 points.
American Horror Story…are you guys watching this season? It hasn’t been very scary, but it’s been disturbing. I’m loving the last two Halloween episodes, though. Good stuff. If you watch AHS, you can catch a good (and hilarious) recap over at My Favorite and My Best. She’s awesomesauce, not only for her artistic abilities (inspires me to continue not finishing any of our reno projects) but also for her spot on Jessica Lange impersonation and screen caps from each episode. I mean, it’s no Walking Dead (swoon) but it’s still good stuff.
Candy…I love you SO. MUCH. Especially candy corn, mini Snickers, Milky Ways, Baby Ruth, Tootsie Rolls, and Dots. Man, do I love Dots. They’re totally worth it, even if they pull out your fillings. But candy corn wins all the candy points; that stuff is irresistable.
Now, for things non-All Hallows’ Eve related…
Hairy Carey…last week, I cut my own bangs. I do this a lot, usually with some level of success. I’m still growing out a not-awesome haircut I got right before Miles was born (my hair grows super slow, except for the grays – they sprout like bamboo and take over). I know I’m not the only person too lazy/thrifty to pay for someone else to cut my bangs. What about color? I’m considering a new color, which I’ll do myself. Darker? Lighter? Grayer? If your choice is the last, I have been fashionable for 18 months.
The No TV Project
PEOPLE: I am considering taking a hiatus from television for one week (okay, five weekdays). One of those guilt-ridden inspirational photo posts popped up somewhere (Facebook? Pinterest? Instagram? Epicurious? I have no idea…) and it said,
If you don’t have enough time, turn off the TV.
And I thought to myself, “sonofabitch, they’re watching me through the living room window.” Because seriously, I love my DVR. I love my DVR in a way that if polygamy was allowed in Florida, we would go all Big Love with the DVR. Maybe the OnDemand, too. I will admit that my amount of TV watching isn’t what it used to be, but I still think that I watch enough of it in the evenings that it interferes with the things I’d like to accomplish during the week (also, things that have been on my to-do list since before Miles was born).
We don’t watch TV until after Miles goes to bed, normally around 8pm. I usually hit the hay by 10pm, sometimes earlier, but let’s average and say I’m watching two hours of TV a day. It doesn’t seem like much to some, but when I consider how ticked off I get the next day because I didn’t complete XYZ task, I silently curse the TV in my head.
TV : Kristin :: Apple : Eve
So, I am considering going off the DVR grid next week. Wish me luck. I’m already depressed. A little excited, but depressed, too. Maybe I can just cut down to one show a day? The thought of missing AHS, SVU and Criminal Minds is giving me heart palpitations…thank the TV angels that The Walking Dead airs on Sunday nights.
18 mini Snickers to go,