Round-Up

As always, here’s your weekly round-up of things I did when I wasn’t staying up way too late writing, reading (I even FINISHED a book this week!) and watching TV Land.  YOU’RE WELCOME.

No sleep ’til…TEETHING IS OVER OMGOMGOMG.  Maybe that’s a little dramatic.  Do you know what happens when you humbly brag about what a super awesome sleeper your baby is?  That’s right, sharp bones begin tearing their way through his gums.  And so, for the past three weeks, between midnight and 2am…we’re up.  Why?  Because my son thinks he’s the long lost Beastie Boy (RIP Ad-Rock) and will not sleep until he arrives in Brooklyn.  Sometimes he cries, sometimes he just lays there and sings, sometimes he sands up and bangs mercilessly on the side of his crib until you shuffle in there and rock him back to sleep.  When his little eyes are closed, and he’s softly snoring, you lay him in his crib, only to find that during the course of your rock session that comfy, cozy crib has suddenly morphed into an Iron Maiden (and not the rockin’ kind) which Miles will relay to you in a series of shrieks as he frantically climbs up the side of the crib.  This happens three times.  On the fourth attempt, we finally sleep.

Sometimes I wonder why this teething business can be such a big deal…then I  look at THIS:

Where did you think all those adult teeth were hiding, anyway?

Where did you think all those adult teeth were hiding, anyway?

And I think to myself, “HOLY SHIT” and stop questioning why this teething stuff is a big deal.  PS – Good luck un-seeing THAT image.  It’s the stuff Stephen King novels are made of.

There are a few other babies in Miles’ class that are teething right now.  Every day when I go to pick him up, I find the teething kids circled up in the same corner of the play area, chewing the bejeezus out of the hard toys.  It’s like an episode of Breaking Bad.

So, now that you can chew…  We’ve been slowly introducing more “finger foods” to Miles, since the onslaught of Teethmurderfest 2014.  He wants to chew on stuff, so why not have a carrot or an apple or a banana?  When we first introduced bananas, Miles made that face, the one that all babies make when you give them a new food, the face that says, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, WOMAN?!”  Only the banana face was a little bit more dramatic.  Also, it was kind of funny.  Turns out, Miles doesn’t particularly care for the texture of bananas, and if you try to coax him into eating them (vis a vis putting pieces of banana in his mouth when he is clearly over it) he’s going to make a “cat coughing up a hairball face.”  Oh, you think that’s funny?  Me too.  So we tried another piece of banana, because I really wanted Evan to see the hilarity that was the banana-hairball face.  And do you know what happened?  Miles puked all of his mangoes all over the highchair.   Miles: 1  Me: 0  Highchair: -1,487

NO MORE BANANAS.

NO MORE BANANAS.

TVTVTV… Like most parents of young children, we DVR a lot of our shows so we can watch them later (because, let’s face it, staying up until 9:30p is a challenge).  I am most excited to finally see The White Witch herself on American Horror Story.  Did you watch it?  Was it awesome?  I hope so.  In addition to AHS, I’m also going to binge watch Gypsy Sisters.  Have you ever watched My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding?  NO?!  Gypsy Sisters follows one of the families featured in an episode of MBFAGW, and it.is.awesome.  It’s a bedazzled episode of Maury Povich.  The Gypsy culture is interesting and entertaining.  Also, they have names like “Pawpaw Big Daddy” and “Mellie”.  And because the show is on TLC (which used to be The Learning Channel, remember?) I don’t feel like I’m totally rotting my brain.  Even though TLC is responsible for Honey Boo Boo, The Little Chocolatiers and, lest we forget, John and Kate Plus 8.  Barf.  Anyway, Gypsy Sisters: watch it.

Doesn't this just scream awesome?  Along with, "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER."

Doesn’t this just scream awesome? Along with, “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER.”

And finally, because I’m not sure if the baby teeth x-ray is enough to give you nightmares, I’m going to leave you with THIS:

Hyperdontia.  Seriously, Google it.

Hyperdontia. Seriously, Google it.

I know, my google image skills are pretty wicked.

Sleep tight,

K

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