I have entirely too much spaghetti in my hair.

This week, after a hiatus that exceeded two months, one of my fave mom bloggers announced that she was uncertain of her blog’s future.  It gave me a case of the sads, because she’s a mom that I really connect with, and will miss dearly should she decide her writing days have reached an end (for now).  But I also have a deep level of understanding.  Kids get older, and you develop a desire to protect their privacy (teenagers just aren’t as cute and funny as toddlers, right?)  Your adult life begins to reemerge, and maybe you’d like to get out of the house more.  And, at the end of the day, the internet is a crazy, crazy place.

As a writer, you choose to put yourself out there…the good, the bad, the hysterical.  At first you think that just a few friends and family are reading; before you realize it, total strangers are criticizing your parenting abilities, if that’s what you have chosen to publish for the world to judge.

When I started this blog many, many moons ago, it definitely had a different tone.  It was, after all, about cooking.  Becoming parents completely turned our world upside down (in an awesome way) and I realized it also provided me with endless material.  Honesty is of utmost importance to me.  Our life is not a Pinterest board; if you’ve come here looking for 101 ways to crochet doilies for your toddler’s tea party, or 12 easy ways to prepare an organic, seasonally harvested, sustainably grown dinner from scratch while teaching your baby to play Mozart…sorry ’bout your luck.  And while you may find TMI, please know it’s for the humor factor, and not to shock or totally gross you out (although, if you’re a parent, I am positive there is nothing that can ever shock or totally gross you out anymore).

We all parent differently, but we are all on the same team.  I’m doing an awesome job; you’re doing an awesome job, and even Honey Boo Boo’s mom (in her own mind) is doing an awesome job.  There are just varying levels of awesome; some days are more awesome (awesomer?) than others.  Monday you may have an angel of a baby, and Tuesday you may have a fussopotamus (you may use that word, and you’re welcome).  By Thursday, he could be a fussosaurus (that one, too).  And Friday?  Sweet as honey.  It happens: teething, growth spurts, mental and physical development, stuff.  It’s a crap shoot 98% of the time, and the other 2%?  Teething.  But it’s still 100% awesome.

I want you to know enough to make you laugh, but not make you uncomfortable (unless I find humor in your lack of comfort).  Most importantly, I want you to know that I get it.  Life isn’t a Pinterest board, Facebook post or Instagram photo.  Oh, those moments are beautiful and magical, but let’s be real…there’s some shit that goes on in between.

Here are the things I’ve said in the past week that I want to share, because hey, kids!

  1. “I have entirely too much spaghetti in my hair.”
  2. “Miles, please do not eat the cactus.”
  3. “Honey, the kid is stuck behind the couch again.”
  4. “Miles, please do not eat the cat.”
  5. “Honey, the kid is stuck in the cabinet again.”
  6. “Who taught you to pick your nose?”
  7. “If you throw yourself off the changing table, you have to put on your own diaper.”
  8. “Is that poop?” (trick question because the answer is always YES)
  9. “You are not storing food for hibernation; please chew and swallow.” 
  10. “Show mommy how we sit like a big boy in the (insert anything he’s supposed to sit in, because he’s definitely in the act of climbing out while I say this)”
  11. “Did you know you’re allowed to sleep past 6:30am on Saturdays and Sundays?”
  12. “Where did your pants go?”

And things I did in the past week:

  1. Carried my son, all 25lbs of him, football style, through Target while pushing the cart with one hand because he not only figured out how to unbuckle his cart cover, but also climb out of the cart.  One woman told me I had a “cute little Houdini.”  I asked her if she could carry the cat litter for me, because either the Fresh Step or the kid was going to stay at Target if I had to haul this stuff out alone.
  2. Went head to head in two separate dinner battles.  Lost two separate dinner battles.  Bananas and cereal for all!
  3. Refrained from uncontrollable and hysterical laughter as Miles learned how to blow a raspberry with his mouth full of yogurt, successfully covering everyone at the table (and the dog) in banana-pumpkin deliciousness.  Okay, we laughed a little.  Now he does the yogurt-spit face a lot.  Parenting fail?  I don’t know, it’s pretty damn funny.
  4. Got poop on my hands and face.  MORE THAN ONCE.

Of course these are the tiny moments in a sea of “I love yous” and endless hugs, of first steps and real, actual and intentional first words (KITTY!)  And at the end of the day, these moments may frustrate some, but right now, they fill us with laughter (okay, and wine…sometimes these moments fill me with wine, but only after the kid goes to bed).  Sure, there are frustrating moments, and I am positive that as we creep ever so close to the toddler stage, you’ll get some of that from me, but deep down I (like all parents) know that it’s a passing phase, a fleeting moment, and while there are nights that I feel like Holyfield after 13 rounds when I finally sit on the couch, it’s still the greatest feeling in the history of all time and space, ever.  Ever.

Keeping it real,

K

YES TO ALL:

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