Tonight’s Mom Confessions are brought to you by the free time I now have while waiting for my loving, wonderful, patient husband to return from Publix with another bag of pecans so I can finish baking this cake, because of course it’s always a great idea to try a totally new recipe at 9:15p on Monday night. OF COURSE.
Let’s just say those pecans were roasted until fragrant, alright.
Burned (burnt?) nuts aside, tonight’s baking adventure has me wondering if there are folks in the world publishing completely terrible recipes on websites that appear to be run by Food Network. If this cake is successful (read: edible) I’ll share the recipe with my alterations (read: limit your wine before attempting).
And now that we’ve spent plenty of time on my nuts…here are my Mom Confessions for the past few weeks:
- I almost always come home during my lunch hour. It gives me a chance to fold laundry, mop, or start dinner. Last week, I spent three of those lunch hours reading celebrity gossip and eating fistfuls of Honey Nut Cheerios, and nothing else.
- On Sunday, while getting ready for church, I realized I would need to wear a dress that called for tights or leggings, because I hadn’t shaved my legs. Then I thought about what I’d worn to church the previous Sunday: blue jeans, and for the same reason. This weekend, I’m going for the trifecta.
- There is an unidentified sticky substance on our piano. It will not yield to my scrubbing efforts. I am ignoring it until it goes away.
- My first name is not difficult, but it is frequently misspelled. If I receive an email with my name misspelled in the greeting, I will intentionally misspell the sender’s name upon replying. Examples of my intentional misspellings include: Ashleigh, Brigit, Amandah and Jone.
- Using an umbrella while carrying your toddler is the equivalent of holding a funnel over your head in the shower. For a toddler, an umbrella is only to be used upside, swinging side to side, or closed and as a javelin. If you can successfully transport your toddler anywhere while using an umbrella, you are a Jedi.
- I’ve never seen a single Star Wars movie, so I don’t even know if that last joke works
I also confess that I have used the following phrases in just the past five days:
- “We do not walk on our dinner.”
- “We do not use tongs on the cat.”
- “We do not eat q-tips.”
- “Please refrain from putting Kix in the dog’s ear.”
- “How did you get your shoe on your elbow?”
- “GO SHOW YOUR DAD.”
I’ve actually used that last one a dozen times, just tonight. Back to the kitchen…