Food. It’s something that most pregs either love or hate. Usually, you kind of hate it during the first trimester (never had that problem) and maybe a little bit in the second (still never had that problem) and by the third, you love it. Even as a non-preg, I have always loved food, so the relationship with food only deepens when I’m also growing a tiny person inside my uterus. It’s Friday night; I’m a 30-week preg mom of an almost two-year-old (read: I am clearly a crazy person). Now seems like a good time to talk about how my brain works in terms of food relationship.
I’m sure you’ve heard of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (a play on Six Degrees of Separation) in which any person can be connected to Kevin Bacon in six degrees or less. Don’t believe me? Go to your google machine and search any celebrity’s name with the phrase “bacon number” and you’ll see what I mean.
Results straight from the Googlemachine:
“Vince Vaughn Bacon Number”
Vince Vaughn’s Bacon number is 2
“Steven Spielberg Bacon Number”
Steven Spielberg’s Bacon number is 2
“Joe Biden Bacon Number”
Joe Biden’s Bacon number is 2
“Queen Elizabeth II Bacon Number”
Elizabeth II’s Bacon number is 2
My own personal Bacon Number is 3. In the 90s, my husband met Matt Dillon in NYC; Matt Dillon was in “Wild Things” with Bacon. This makes my husband’s Bacon Number 2, and as his wife, my Bacon Number would be 3. Just by knowing me, your Bacon Number is 4! Feel special and famous? You should. And you can thank me later for sending you on the enormous time-suck that is googling Bacon Numbers.
So, food. With pregs, food sort of works like a Bacon Number.
Earlier this week I needed to replace the garbage bag in our kitchen trashcan. I opened the new box of bags my husband purchased, only to find that he had purchased vanilla scented. After inhaling the scent of vanilla, I then needed a cupcake. Luckily we had cupcakes because HELLO I’M PREGNANT. So that’s like three degrees of separation:
- Need to replace garbage bag.
- Open new box of bags; smell vanilla.
- Eat cupcake.
See? THREE DEGREES OF CUPCAKES.
A few nights ago, we decided to watch something on our OnDemand (Alaskan Bush People…do you watch this? YOU SHOULD.) Evan pushed the OnDemand button, and Comcast’s superior technology took us to QVC’s channel. And so began FOUR DEGREES OF BURRITOS:
- QVC makes me think of Lori from Shark Tank.
- Every Friday night, we watch Shark Tank.
- Every Friday night, we get take-out from Moe’s.
- I NEED A BURRITO.
There’s your small glimpse into the mind of a third trimester preg.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, a burrito is calling my name. (Also, all this talk about Bacon makes me hungry).