It’s that time again…time for me to avoid putting any serious effort into writing, and give you the list of things I’ve done recently that wouldn’t make the cover of Parenting Magazine. Enjoy.
This week, I have…
- Worn maternity pants to the office. I feel like this ends up on the confession list every month, but it’s true. I also don’t believe any of my coworkers notice when I do this.
- Realized it’s been three weeks since I’ve done my own laundry. Don’t worry, everyone else has clean clothes, and I have yet to turn a pair of underwear inside out for myself. This stems from the burned out light bulb in my closet, which has in turn provided enough material for an entire blog post. I know you’re looking forward to that.
- Forgotten that Miles is on Mixed Veggie Protest. Instead, he has opted to eat only peas, corn and carrots, but not mixed together. At dinner this evening, I proceeded to separate all mixed veggies. That, my friends, is love. It is also understanding that he has most likely inherited his mother’s whack OCD.
- Eaten three grilled cheese sandwiches and two fried turkey bologna sandwiches for lunch. Yesterday, I ate half a head of broccoli with some dip, so I believe that balances out the grilled cheese. I’m tired and lazy.
- Prayed to the gods of the twelve month molars to let the teeth come in already, so the kid will stop chewing on my car keys every chance he gets.
- Attempted to bake a butterscotch brownie using a recipe I’m completely unfamiliar with, off the bag of butterscotch chips no less. It turned out to be an 8×8 butterscotch chocolate chip cookie disaster, that couldn’t even be cut. Instead of throwing it away, I stuck a spoon in it, and continued eating large chunks every single day while cooking dinner. It was hate-eating at its finest.
- Cried during American Ninja Warrior. This has also given me enough material for an entire post.
- Did zero household chores during Saturday’s naptime. Instead, I opted to lay on the couch watching reruns of Sex and the City, and work on level 164 of Candy Crush. People still play that, right? I’m a little out of the loop…
- So far out of the loop, that I had never heard the songs “Happy” or “Fancy” until this week. But I know all the words to “Down by the Bay” (where the watermelons grooow…Raffi 4 Lyfe)
- Let Miles fingerpaint with his yogurt, out of sheer appreciation for the joy on his face while doing so. A dining room table can be replaced, but memories of coconut yogurt sunshines are irreplaceable.
Before I had Miles, I took melatonin religiously at bedtime. After I got knocked up, I realized the label said “not for use during pregnancy”, so I quit. I remember worrying about how well I would sleep without melatonin (surprise: pregnancy takes care of that), and that I was looking forward to the day I could take it again. Then we had Miles, and I realized that children are melatonin for parents. Their strength increases with age. This isn’t a confession; merely an observation. You don’t want to sleep like a baby; you want to sleep like the parents of the baby.
Miles will be 15 months old tomorrow, which to me feels like he’s getting his learner’s permit. I’ll never make fun of anyone who says “boy, does time fly…” ever again.